|Posted on January 2, 2015 at 12:40 AM|
From some of our members:
For those of you who embraced the gay life: What do you think was the reason for you to do that? What was the big hook?
„Personally talking, as far as I can remember, I was looking for an ideal relationship with a guy at my age. Before living the gay life, the boys at my age never behave to me like being equal. My self esteem was extremely low and it seemed to me like a dream if one of those boys who rejected me wanted to have a love affair with me.
Of course that kind of love affair never appeared. Instead of that , other kind of sexual relationships came to my way, especially those who are motivated from sexual pleasure. “
“I was isolated at the time. I did not realize there were other options. I did not know I could make choices. I blamed God at the time (Who is now Our Father to me). I did not know where to go for help. I had no guidance. I came from a single parent back ground. I grow up in an inner city hostile, violent ghetto. I was lost. I was ashamed to talk about what happened to me. I was just a small child. The people who could have helped me didn't. I needed help but did not know where to go. Then the stigma, the shame, the embarrassment, the ridicule was a complete attack on my broken little self. Who could I talk to; not even my Mom. I was too ashamed, embarrassed and scared I was just a small developing boy. I was already hurt & broken. My only options were suicide and drugs so i thought. Later I went to a gay bar and met new people. I started talking, having fun, drinking all my problems away. Made new friends, discover a whole new world the gay ghetto even had lovers. Then I go to sleep with drugs and wake up the next day and start over again. I was lost with no where to go.“