Homosexuals Anonymous

Offering Guidance, Fellowship & Care


Is Change Really Possible?

Posted on January 5, 2016 at 3:00 PM

Written By: Ben Newman


Written Originally for www.peoplecanchange.com (Dec. 2003)


Absolutely! We testify from personal experience that change is possible. True, the journey was often difficult and frightening, but the destination has brought us immeasurable peace and joy. It was not only worth it, it saved our lives.


We no longer desire to have sex with other men. We are no longer consumed by the loneliness, lust, fear, anger and rebellion that once entrapped us. We no longer look for the romantic love or sexual interest of another man to make us feel whole. We no longer fear heterosexual men nor reject masculinity.


Today, we are whole. Not perfect. Not even finished with the journey, necessarily, but whole.


Where once there was sexual lust, today there is brotherly love. Where once there was fear and defensive detachment, today there is trust and connection. Where once there was self-hate and a feeling of never being "man enough," today there is self acceptance and a strong and confident masculine identity. Where once there was anger at God, today there is deep love, faith and trust in Him.


Many will scoff at our testimony. "Change is impossible," they will say. "Others have tried and failed, so you must fail too."


Yet history is made up of heroes who did what others said was impossible: Building the first "flying machine." Walking on the moon. Running the four-minute mile. Recovering from alcoholism. It takes only one person to prove the "impossible" is possible and to show others how. What if one single person were to make a full recovery from AIDS? The world would rally to celebrate and learn how he did it. The example of one would be enough.


The fact that many have failed does not mean that no one can succeed. The fact that some efforts don't work, at least not for everyone, does not prove that nothing works for anyone. The fact that, on occasion, a man may stumble or even return to his former "gay" life does not mean that many others have not find permanent joy and peace in their new heterosexual identities and lives.


We don't typically march in pride parades or lobby for political change, so we tend to be an invisible minority. We are not out to change the world. We were only out to change ourselves, from within.


Those who want to believe, whose hearts are open to the whisperings of truth, will know that the experiences we share are true and were right for us.

Categories: Judaism, Recovery, Therapy

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