|Posted on January 6, 2016 at 2:50 PM|
Why Gays Need to Believe They were Born Gay: A Neurotic Drive for Acceptance
Written By: Don D
(Posted May 2012)
Co-Directors' Introduction: The writer, a married man, who is presently in counseling for same-sex attraction (SSA) issues has frequently expressed frustration about how the gay activist agenda consistently negates his own positive therapeutic experiences and his continuing growth out of homosexuality. His negative experiences with those who support the political gay lobby led him to understand how diversity and tolerance is a one way street for such advocates, only supporting those who want to be gay while attacking both those who want to change and those who wish to assist those who desire change of sexual orientation. His introspection on this question led him to pen the following thesis.
A genetic deterministic argument has been made in the public arena for some very specific reasons that those of us who are same-sex attracted (SSA) need to understand. Acceptance of the genetic deterministic argument is the primary vehicle being used to attack normative religious doctrine in the public policy arena and to create a sea change in attitudes toward gay behaviors.
". . .people who think that gays are born that way are also more likely to support gay rights" Simon LeVay
A similar genetic argument is also used to attack the rights of SSA men who seek help from sympathetic mental health professionals.
"There is this strange connection between whether you think this therapy is useful and whether you are for the civil rights of homosexuals. The gay activists believe that if they could convince everybody that they can never change, then they would be in a better position to argue for gay civil rights...." Dr. Robert Spitzer
If my genetics determines my sexual orientation, then advocates of homosexuality believe it is unjust for them to be denied the same enjoyment and fulfillment of emotional and sexual bonding to a life partner that is enjoyed by heterosexuals; and, religious doctrine to that effect will seem unjust as well. It also means any treatment to overcome homosexual ideation is not only doomed to failure but will likely result in harm (even though numerous studies evidence that no harm exists from reparative therapy.) To understand why this argument is so viscerally important to gay men beyond its persuasive value in the public policy arena, and why understanding the fallacy in it is so important to those of us who define ourselves as dealing with SSA, requires briefly discussing biology and understanding the true causes of SSA. Generally speaking, genetics is never deterministic when it comes to behaviors.
Genetics do not determine behavior in the same way that they determine physical traits, such as eye color. With behavior, the environment itself is substantially involved in genetic transmission, even when the proportion of variation attributable to genetic influence is high.. Genes do not produce behavior; they do not even determine behavior, they only influence the probability that behavior will occur, given a specific environmental influence..[p. 275] Caution is warranted [even in interpreting twin studies that purportedly shows evidence of genetic influences since] the difference between monozygotic and dizygotic concordance overestimates heritability to an indeterminate degree [p. 274]. Journal of Fluency Disorders, 27, 269-288
More than just behaviors, the traits that influence behaviors are also not generally controlled by genes the way that is implied by the over simplifying popular press.
.the interaction of genes and environment is much more complicated than the simple "violence genes" and "intelligence genes" touted in the popular press.. The same data that show the effect of genes, also point to the enormous influence of non-genetic factors [p. 1687]. Mann, C. 1994. Genes and Behavior. Science, 264, 1686-1689
Once I accept the genetic argument, then I internalize a deep sense of rejection. In fact, The true nature of homosexuality is rejection. The child and sometimes the infant at some level perceives rejection by a parent, or later on by peers, or both, or perhaps goes through a trauma such as sexual abuse, then as a result defensively detaches from his own masculine identity. It is, at its core, self rejection of an essential part of myself, my masculinity and my role as a man among men and my ability to identify with other men as like them, in at least the key area of sexual desire. Not always, but usually, the self rejection is much more extensive, and results in my rejection of my own masculinity so deeply that I view manhood as a club I was never invited to join.
The resulting manifestation in the gay community is a neurotic drive for acceptance. A gay pride parade is a cry for acceptance and at the same time an adolescent dare to reject. This is why gay pride parades do not bring out attempts to show everyone just how "normal" gay men are but instead bring out drag queens and men in dog collars and leashes. It is a manifestation of that neurotic drive to demand acceptance by a community of men who at their own core reject themselves and are simultaneously demanding to be rejected because deep down they believe they deserve to be rejected.
That neurotic drive for acceptance is why the gay rights community seeks to fight against the rights of SSA men to get treatment and has campaigned within the APA and through legislation, initially in Europe and South America and now in the USA, to sanction psychologists who treat men with unwanted SSA and therefore seek to change orientation. For the gay-identified personality, my efforts at chastity, or my efforts at change therapy, are too much of a challenge to his neurotic drive for acceptance and thus he seeks to deny me a right of self determination or a right to freedom of religion.
But above all else, here is the really sad thing about the growing acceptance of a genetic determinism of SSA. The vast majority of young men and women who struggle with SSA and grow up in a world where that view dominates will conclude for themselves, as a matter of moral certainty, that prohibitions against homosexual behavior in the Bible must be culturally-based human constructs which have no eternal validity, and no psychological benefits, and will make no attempt at chastity. Those men and women will eventually, or more than likely, leave any religious group that maintains a traditional biblical doctrine on homosexual conduct.
Psalm 1:1 - Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.
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