Homosexuals Anonymous

Offering Guidance, Fellowship & Care

Statement of Purpose

STATEMENT OF PURPOSE

Homosexuals Anonymous is a Christian fellowship of men and women who have chosen to help each other. The purpose of H.A. is to be a resource and support for individuals seeking that. Group support is available through weekly H.A. meetings. Guidance is received through the shared experiences and growth of others. Strength is acquired by training the faith response through the 14 steps of H.A.



"Unwanted Same-Sex Attractions"?

Indeed this term is somewhat outdated, yet not completely wrong.

Yes, we offer pastoral care to those who have problems with their same-sex attractions. However, our goal hereby is not to "change" those same-sex attractions into heterosexual ones. On the contrary: We do not see it as inacceptable if someone is sexually and/or emotionally attracted to the same sex. He/she did not choose to have those attractions. We do respect though that there are people who - for whatever reasons - do not wish to act upon these attractions. People that seek a life beyond the gay scene. We do not have the right to judge that.


Wir leisten keinerlei therapeutische Arbeit – weder psychotherapeutisch noch die Heilung körperlicher Erkrankungen betreffend. Menschen mit entsprechenden Problemen müssen sich an die örtlichen Fachmenschen hierfür wenden.

Weiterhin lehnen wir Konversionstherapien grundsätzlich ab.

Seelsorge für Minderjährige leisten wir nur mit Einverständnis der Eltern und dann nur im gesetzlichen Rahmen.

Wir bieten unsere Dienste und unsere Unterstützung sowohl Gays als auch Ex-Gays an, das heißt sowohl Menschen, die ihre gleichgeschlechtlichen Neigungen ausleben möchten als auch denen, die das nicht möchten.

Das Ziel einer seelsorgerlichen Beratung bestimmt alleine der Klient bzw. die Klientin.
Unsere Klientinnen und Klienten werden unabhängig von ihrer religiösen, politischen oder weltanschaulichen Einstellung beraten.

Wir respektieren die Menschen, mit denen wir zu tun haben und fordern diesen Respekt auch uns gegenüber ein.

„Heilung“ bedeutet in unserem Verständnis nicht etwa Heilung von einer Krankheit, sondern Heilung eines möglicherweise gebrochenen Verhältnisses zu Gott oder Mitmenschen, Heilung von inneren seelischen Verletzungen usw.

„Veränderung“ wird von unseren Klientinnen und Klienten auf unterschiedlichste Art und Weise erlebt: Manche erleben dies als Abnahme der Intensität, Art und/oder Häufigkeit sexueller Lust oder Phantasien, andere erleben diese Veränderungen – je nach selbst gesetztem Ziel – im privaten oder beruflichen Bereich, in der Familie, im eigenen Glaubensverständnis oder im persönlichen körperlichen und/oder seelischem Wohlbefinden. Manch eine/r entdeckt sogar lange verschüttet geglaubte heterosexuelle Empfindungen wieder. Keinesfalls aber bedeutet Veränderung, dass von Seiten unserer Seelsorger und/oder Berater eine Veränderung der sexuellen Orientierung angestrebt wird. Wenn Klientinnen und Klienten dies selbst aus ihrer eigenen Erfahrung berichten (etwa nach Glaubenserfahrungen), wird dies unsererseits mit Respekt zur Kenntnis genommen. Unsererseits wird derartiges aber weder angestrebt noch durchgeführt, beworben oder vermittelt. Sollte auf unserer Homepage ein Beitrag sein, der unserem Selbstverständnis widerspricht und wir dies irrtümlicherweise übersehen haben, bitten wir um entsprechende Benachrichtigung an unseren E-Mail Account free32@gmx.de und wir werden diesen Beitrag umgehend löschen.

Wir bieten unsere Zusammenarbeit und Unterstützung ausdrücklich auch homosexuellen Einzelpersonen, Gruppen und Organisationen an.


What do you mean by "living in freedom from homosexuality"?

What we do not mean to say by that is that we use conversion therapy on our clients.

So what do we mean?

For many of us "being gay" meant that our whole life turned around that. Now we want to put an end to this. Our same-sex attractions might still be there, but they will not dictate the way we live our lives no more. We are not out there telling eveybody whether he wants to hear it or not that we are "gay". We are not denying our same-sex feelings, but we are not letting them control us anymore. Life is more than "being gay".

From a Christian point of view, same-sex desires are temptations like many other temptations. However, Jesus died for us so the power of temptation and sin is broken. We are free!


Was meint ihr mit "in Freiheit von der Homosexualität leben"?

Was wir damit nicht sagen wollen, ist, dass wir Konversions-Therapie anwenden.

Was also wollen wir sagen?

Für viele von uns bedeutete "schwul" oder "lesbisch" zu sein, dass sich unser ganzes Leben darum gedreht hat. Damit hat es nun ein Ende. Unsere gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen mögen noch da sein, sie werden aber nicht mehr die Art und Weise bestimmen, wir wir unser Leben führen. Wir sagen nicht jedem, ob er/sie es nun hören will oder nicht, dass wir "schwul" oder "lesbisch" sind. Wir verleugnen unsere gleichgeschlechtlichen Gefühle nicht, sie werden uns aber auch nicht mehr kontrollieren. Das Leben besteht aus mehr als nur "schwul" oder "lesbisch" zu sein.

Von einem christlichen Standpunkt aus gesehen sind gleichgeschlechtliche Gefühle Versuchungen wie andere Versuchungen auch. Jesus aber ist für uns gestorben, damit die Macht der Versuchung und Sünde gebrochen ist. Wir sind frei!


Unser Material wird nicht dazu benutzt, für die Idee einer Konversionstherapie Werbung zu machen oder sie gar durchzuführen. Sollten in alten Schriften oder Videos Stellen sein, die missverständlich so aufgefasst werden können, weisen wir unsere Klientinnen und Klienten regelmäßig darauf hin, dass es nicht (!) unser Ziel ist, aus "Homos" "Heteros zu machen, sondern Menschen zu Jesus zu bringen (bzw. denen, die keine Christinnen und Christen sind, bei der Erreichung ihres selbstgewählten Zieles beizustehen). Wir betreiben Seelsorge und keine Therapie.

Our resources are not being used to make publicity for conversion therapy or for offering such therapy. Should there be any such references in older writings of videos, we point out to our clients that our aim is not (!) to turn people from gay to straight, but to bring them to Jesus (or to help those who are not Christians reach their individual goal). We do Christian counseling and pastoral care, not therapy.


What do you mean when you talk about "false" or "new" identity?

We are not refering hereby to "homosexual" or "heterosexual". Many of us used sexual fantasies or acts subconsciously in order to numb legitimate needs or past hurts and forget about them for a while. Therefore, the "identity" that came out of this was oftentimes distorted. The more we now learn to forgive and to recognize and accept our needs, the more we acknowledge our true self.
For the Christians among us it also means to see one's identity in the One in whose image we were created.

It is not so much about being "false" or "right" in the colloquial sense, but in realizing and accepting one's self.


Was meint ihr, wenn ihr von "falscher" oder "neuer" Identität sprecht?

Hier beziehen wir uns nicht auf "homosexuell" oder "heterosexuell". Viele von uns haben sexuelle Phantasien oder Handlungen unbewusst dazu verwendet, legitime Bedürfnisse oder vergangene Verletzungen zu betäuben und sie eine zeitlang zu vergessen.
Die daraus entstandene "Identität" war deshalb oft verzerrt. In dem Maß, indem wir lernen zu verzeihen und unsere Bedürfnisse zu erkennen und erfüllen, erkennen wir auch unser wahres Selbst.
Für die Christinnen und Christen unter uns bedeutet dies weiterhin, die eigene Identität in dem zu erkennen, in dessen Abbild wir erschaffen wurden.

Es geht hier also weniger um "falsch" und "richtig" im umgangssprachlichen Sinn, sondern um das Erkennen, Wahrnehmen und Annehmen des eigenen Ichs.


Should Ex-Gay Ministries Get Involved In Politics?

That question raised quite some concern among ex-gays even not so long ago. Some groups (like Homosexuals Anonymous) have completely abstained from taking an active part in politics, others have been out there from the beginning.

So where are we now? Does it even matter?

It does – very much so.

I don’t know if there ever was a time where it might have been understandable to focus only on being a “safe haven” for those seeking help in dealing with unwanted same-sex attraction. If there was, this time is over now. We simply cannot afford staying silent anymore and concentration on therapy, counseling or pastoral care.

I was born and raised in Germany. We got some idea of how wrong and dramatic it can get if you think you are living on an island – separated from the rest of the world – and this world with all that it brings along will leave you in peace then.

“No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death diminishes me because I am involved in mankind; and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.” John Donne

We are never separated from the world – and as Christians we must not even think of being so.

“First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Socialist.
Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Trade Unionist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out-- Because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for me--and there was no one left to speak for me.”
Pastor Martin Niemöller criticizing German intellectuals for being coward during the Nazi area

Ex-gays cannot and must not stay silent – and neither must the Church.

Matthew 28:16-20 King James Version (KJV):
“16 Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them.
17 And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted.
18 And Jesus came and spake unto them, saying, All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth.
19 Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost:
20 Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.“

That includes standing up for what we believe in – whatever the cost may be. If we as Christians don’t have something to shout from the roofs, then I don’t know who has.
I am not talking about founding or supporting a political party, mind you. However, I am talking of being the voice for Jesus, of putting on the armor of faith and stand firm like a rock, of being the light put out there for everyone to shine. These things won’t happen if we hide in supposedly “safe havens”. The world out there needs to hear our voice! We are responsible for one another and we are called to run after each and every sheep that is in danger of getting lost.

When I heard of something like ex-gay ministries for the first time (after I had spent many years embracing a gay life which led me to hitting rock bottom at the end), I was really steaming mad when I started reading all those homepages. Why had nobody ever told me about that? Why did they not stand up for what they believe in so those in need can hear their voice and message? How come we have to go and find out on our own by stumbling over it “by chance”? How come gay activists force their beliefs on the whole world and ex-gays are hiding in secret circles? How come we have no problem cheering on the top of our lungs for soccer or football teams but stay awfully silent when it comes to proclaiming our faith – the faith in Jesus, the Son of God, who gave everything – including His own life – to pull us out of the mud and save our butts – sorry, lives?

If you think you can stay silent and separate from the world, don’t be surprised if it comes breaking into your doors. If you claim to be responsible for those seeking help in dealing with unwanted same-sex attractions, how come you shut up when they pass laws preventing us from doing so? Is it really the love and care for people with unwanted ssa you are worried about – or more your own safety and comfort?

And if you happened to find help in ex-gay ministries, shouldn’t you get your own butt up now and help others – just like every Christian should pass on the love He receives from Christ and his brothers and sisters each day?

I am sick to death with being silent. Now it is time for war. This is a battle cry for everyone to take on his or her spiritual armor and stand firm for the Son of God that became man so men and women can become children of God! How dare we settle with less?

Revelation 3:16 New International Version (NIV):
“16 So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”

Robert

We do not offer any therapy whatsoever. We are a self-support group and offer pastoral care.

Homosexuals Anonymous is not out to please anybody. We are not bragging with high numbers of followers or counting the media-appearances we had and where we spoke at. When we speak somewhere, we certainly do not tell people what they want to hear, but what they need to hear. Everything else would not be Christian love, but irresponsibility. Jesus wasn't "liked" by everyone either. In fact, they nailed Him on the Cross. We don't want people to buy our stuff, we want them to find freedom.


A sad trend all over the globe right now: In fear of legal attacks so-called "ex-gay ministries" (nothing much left of that) change their names and bow down to therapeutic Christianity. They dig out some wanna-be psychologic titles and make their mission statement sound so wishy-washy anybody can live with it - and nobody will be fed (let alone spiritually). Of course, the (former) Christian message is (almost) non existent - and if there is a reference to it, it is in the context of a cosmetic supplement to wellness-counseling that makes the client feel fuzzy and warm, but does not call him to repentence anymore. Gone the bold Christian stand that holds on firm like a rock whatever persecution may come. Long live cafeteria Christianity where everybody can choose his or her spiritual cocktail.
The former message of freedom from homosexuality is brushed off the table ("sexuality is not open for change") while at the same time timid references are made to scientific research that speaks of the "fluidity" of sexuality. You can't have it both ways! Stop sitting on the fence. Decide which side you're on and stay there!


Homosexuals Anonymous does not want to make its own name or program known or praised, but most of all the saving power of Jesus Christ. We are offering a helping hand to each one out there who wants to take it. We don't want to sell you stuff nor do we want you to pay for any of our services. 



People with unwanted same-sex attractions certainly don't need another organization that pushes its own name instead of Jesus. One of those organizations that organizes those usual ex-gay "trains" (events) where they carry on the usual speaker saying things that you have heard a zillion times before (and better) - and charge money for it. Organizations that offer "counseling" and/or "therapy" without even always having people with the proper acknowledged and certified trainings. And no, being a pastor or a Christian does not make you an expert in secular science.