Homosexuals Anonymous

Offering Guidance, Fellowship & Care

Statement on Philosophy

Christ, the Imago Dei (the Image of God), is the restoration of the creation image, in whom all men and women find their identity by faith.


The search for wholeness and heterosexuality within ourselves thus comes to an end. Men and women receive Christ as their image of God, in whom is their wholeness and heterosexuality.  As a trained faith grasps this awareness, there is a breaking of the power of the homosexual inclination so that freedom from the homosexual drive and activity is a real possibility.


These statements, however, cover the spiritual aspects of same-sex attraction. We do not claim that it is possible to change someone's sexual orientation nor do we attempt to do so.



Homosexuals Anonymous does not aim to alter the sexual orientation of minors.


However, if minors ask of Christian counseling and/or pastoral care and their parents are okay with that, we will gladly offer it to them.


We are a self-support organization and as such do not offer or recommend any kind of therapy for people with same-sex attractions. However, we support the right of every individual with same-sex attractions, their families, friends or anybody interested to have free access to all information regarding this topic. Only then can you come to a reasonable evaluation and decision as to how your viewpoint of this is.



Unser Material wird nicht dazu benutzt, für die Idee einer Konversionstherapie Werbung zu machen oder sie gar durchzuführen. Sollten in alten Schriften oder Videos Stellen sein, die missverständlich so aufgefasst werden können, weisen wir unsere Klientinnen und Klienten regelmäßig darauf hin, dass es nicht (!) unser Ziel ist, aus "Homos" "Heteros zu machen, sondern Menschen zu Jesus zu bringen (bzw. denen, die keine Christinnen und Christen sind, bei der Erreichung ihres selbstgewählten Zieles beizustehen). Wir betreiben Seelsorge und keine Therapie.


Our resources are not being used to make publicity for conversion therapy or for offering such therapy. Should there be any such references in older writings of videos, we point out to our clients that our aim is not (!) to turn people from gay to straight, but to bring them to Jesus (or to help those who are not Christians reach their individual goal). We do Christian counseling and pastoral care, not therapy.

What is so special about us?

What is so special about Homosexuals Anonymous (www.homosexuals-anonymous.com) and the Jason ministry (https://jason-online.webs.com) ? What is characteristic for our ministries? In short: We are truly family. In our groups – both local and online – and between the leaders you will find a very warmhearted atmosphere. That does not mean it is not going rough at times, but the brotherly love always takes us through.

In our group meetings we do not simply share own experiences. We follow the concept of Proverbs 27:17: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)). Especially men need to cheer one another, but also encourage, advise, and support one another. A woman is born a woman – a man has to become a man, and he does so through a lively interaction with other men. That means we want our members to comment on what their brothers (and sisters) did or said – and not just swallow it down as if this is none of their business and as if advise is something bad.

Many of our members stay for a long period of time – others leave early. Recovery does not have a set schedule as the causes for same-sex attractions are many and each member deals with different ones. Our members are free to come back anytime once they leave if they wish to. If a member falls, we do not throw him or her out, we try to help him or her get back on track again by finding out why this happened and how future falls can be prevented.

Decisions among the leaders are being taken in brotherly accord.

Our leaders usually are mature men of faith: Pastors, therapists, Christian counselors and the like.

We see our 14 steps as a tool – one tool among many others. They are NOT the end; they are a means to the end of seeking freedom from same-sex attractions and living a godly life. We are not concentrating on the 14 steps per se in a legalistic manner as if the salvation of the earth depended on them. That is why we include all sorts of tools and resources in our program and are also able to shape it for special groups of people (like Muslims). Many factors contributed to the development of our same-sex attractions and to believe that one single program is good enough for everybody to deal with those factors, that one size fits all, would be a sign of arrogance & pride and thus not helpful for our members. We do not exist for our own sake or to glorify our own name, but the name of Jesus. We also work together with many other groups, organizations & churches – both secular and religious. We offer our help and support to Jews, Muslims, people of other faiths – and no faiths – without compromising our Christian heritage.

We do not ask anything from our members but the will to be free. They do not have to be Christians. However, they should be aware that this is a Christ-centered program and at least be open to work with those parts of the program they feel comfortable with.

There are only a few rules for those participating in our groups: No doctrinal discussions, no insulting of other members, no overly graphic and/or dirty language, no inappropriate behavior among the members.

Our members are encouraged to contribute and share stuff they consider helpful. This stuff does not necessarily have to be related directly to same-sex attractions or the 14 steps. As I already mentioned many biological, social, psychological, emotional & spiritual factors contributed to the development of our same-sex attractions, which in turn means that recovery has to deal with a wider context that includes all those areas as well. Some share songs, others talk or organize leisure activities etc.

We are non-denominational. That means, we do not have to focus on doctrinal questions, on fitting into church policies, on looking good enough from the outside to be “presentable” as part of a church, on not being allowed to use or talk about certain things that would not be in line with our denomination, on getting approval from elders or pastors and so on. All of that would lead us astray from our goal of seeking freedom of same-sex attractions.

Finally: All of our services are for free. That does not mean that what we are doing does not cost us anything. This is why we need to ask for donations. However, nobody that seeks help will have to pay anything for it.

We are here to love and serve people with unwanted same-sex attractions and their loved ones as well as anybody interested in that subject like Christ would. He is our head and our foundation – and Him we follow.


Robert



What do you mean by "living in freedom from homosexuality"?

What we do not mean to say by that is that we use conversion therapy on our clients.

So what do we mean?

For many of us "being gay" meant that our whole life turned around that. Now we want to put an end to this. Our same-sex attractions might still be there, but they will not dictate the way we live our lives no more. We are not out there telling eveybody whether he wants to hear it or not that we are "gay". We are not denying our same-sex feelings, but we are not letting them control us anymore. Life is more than "being gay".

From a Christian point of view, same-sex desires are temptations like many other temptations. However, Jesus died for us so the power of temptation and sin is broken. We are free!


Was meint ihr mit "in Freiheit von der Homosexualität leben"?

Was wir damit nicht sagen wollen, ist, dass wir Konversions-Therapie anwenden.

Was also wollen wir sagen?

Für viele von uns bedeutete "schwul" oder "lesbisch" zu sein, dass sich unser ganzes Leben darum gedreht hat. Damit hat es nun ein Ende. Unsere gleichgeschlechtlichen Empfindungen mögen noch da sein, sie werden aber nicht mehr die Art und Weise bestimmen, wir wir unser Leben führen. Wir sagen nicht jedem, ob er/sie es nun hören will oder nicht, dass wir "schwul" oder "lesbisch" sind. Wir verleugnen unsere gleichgeschlechtlichen Gefühle nicht, sie werden uns aber auch nicht mehr kontrollieren. Das Leben besteht aus mehr als nur "schwul" oder "lesbisch" zu sein.

Von einem christlichen Standpunkt aus gesehen sind gleichgeschlechtliche Gefühle Versuchungen wie andere Versuchungen auch. Jesus aber ist für uns gestorben, damit die Macht der Versuchung und Sünde gebrochen ist. Wir sind frei!


DON'T FORSAKE HOMOSEXUALS WHO WANT HELP

Written By : Charles Socarides, Benjamin Kaufman, Joseph Nicolosi, Jeffrey Satinover, and Richard Fitzgibbons

Reprinted from Letters to the Editor, Wall Street Journal, January 9, 1997.

(Posted: October 2010)

© 1997 by the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH), founded in 1992, is composed of psychoanalysts, psychoanalytically-informed psychologists, certified social workers, and other behavioral scientists, as well as laymen in fields such as law, religion, and education.

Suppose that a young man, seeking help for a psychological condition that was associated with serious health risks and made him desperately unhappy were to be told by the professional he consulted that no treatment is available, that his condition is permanent and genetically based, and that he must learn to live with it. Perhaps this young man, unwilling to give up hope, sought out other specialists only to receive the same message: "Nothing can be done for you. Accept your condition."

How would this man and his family feel when they discovered years later that numerous therapeutic approaches have been available for his specific problem for more than 60 years? What would be his reaction when informed that, although none of these approaches guaranteed results and most required a long period of treatment, a patient who was willing to follow a proven treatment regime had a good chance of being free from the condition? How would this man feel if he discovered that the reason he was not informed that treatment for his condition was available was that certain groups were, for political reasons, pressuring professionals to deny that effective treatment existed?

Every day young men seek help because they are experiencing an unwanted sexual attraction to other men, and are told that their condition is untreatable. It is not surprising that many of these young men fall into depression or despair when they are informed that a normal life with a wife and children is never to be theirs.

This despair can lead to reckless and life-threatening actions. Many young men with homosexual inclinations, feeling their lives are of little value, are choosing to engage in unprotected sex with strangers. Epidemiologists are well aware that the number of new HIV infections among young men involved in homosexual activity is rising at an alarming rate; within this population, the "safer sex" message is falling on deaf ears. One recent study revealed that 38% of homosexual adolescents had engaged in unprotected sex in the previous six months.

Young men and the parents of at-risk males have a right to know that prevention and effective treatment are available. They have a right to expect that every professional they consult will inform them of all their therapeutic options and allow them to make their own choices based on the best clinical evidence. A variety of studies have shown that between 25% and 50% of those seeking treatment experienced significant improvement. If a therapist feels for whatever reason that he cannot treat someone of this condition, he has an obligation to refer the patient to someone who will.

Also, these young men and their parents have the right to know that, contrary to media propaganda, there is no proven biological basis for homosexuality. A November 1995 article in Scientific American pointed out that the much-publicized brain research by Simon Le Vay has never been replicated and that Dean Hamer's gene study has been contradicted by another study.

The truth is that the clinical experience of many therapists who work with men struggling with same-sex attractions and behaviors indicates that there are many causes and various manifestations of homosexuality. No single category describes them all, but the disorder is characterized by a constellation of symptoms, including excessive clinging to the mother during early childhood, a sense that one's masculinity is defective, and powerful feelings of guilt, shame and inferiority beginning in adolescence.

If the emotional desire for another man is primarily a symptom of the failure to develop a strong masculine identity, then a man's unconscious desire to assume the manhood of another male may be more important than the sexual act. The goal of therapy in such cases is to help the clients understand the various causes of his feelings and to strengthen his masculine identify. It has been our clinical experience that as these men become more comfortable and confident with their manhood, same-sex attractions decrease significantly. Eventually many find the freedom they are seeking and are able to have normal relationships with women.

Help is available for men struggling with unwanted homosexual desires. The National Association for Research and Treatment of Homosexuality offers information for those interested in understanding the various therapeutic approaches to treatment. In addition, a number of self-help groups have sprung up to offer support to those who suffer from this problem.

As we grieve for all those lives so abruptly ended by AIDS, we would do well to reflect that many of the young men who have died of AIDS have sought treatment for their homosexuality and were denied knowledge and hope. Many of them would be alive today if they had only been told where to find the help they sought.

Dr. Socarides is a clinical professor of psychiatry at Albert Einstein College of Medicine. Dr. Kaufman is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, Davis. Dr. Nicolosi is director of a clinic in Encino, Calif. Dr. Satinover is a Westport, Conn., psychiatrist. Dr. Fitzgibbons is director of a clinic in West Conshohocken, PA.


What do you mean when you talk about "false" or "new" identity?

We are not refering hereby to "homosexual" or "heterosexual". Many of us used sexual fantasies or acts subconsciously in order to numb legitimate needs or past hurts and forget about them for a while. Therefore, the "identity" that came out of this was oftentimes distorted. The more we now learn to forgive and to recognize and accept our needs, the more we acknowledge our true self.
For the Christians among us it also means to see one's identity in the One in whose image we were created.

It is not so much about being "false" or "right" in the colloquial sense, but in realizing and accepting one's self.


Was meint ihr, wenn ihr von "falscher" oder "neuer" Identität sprecht?

Hier beziehen wir uns nicht auf "homosexuell" oder "heterosexuell". Viele von uns haben sexuelle Phantasien oder Handlungen unbewusst dazu verwendet, legitime Bedürfnisse oder vergangene Verletzungen zu betäuben und sie eine zeitlang zu vergessen.
Die daraus entstandene "Identität" war deshalb oft verzerrt. In dem Maß, indem wir lernen zu verzeihen und unsere Bedürfnisse zu erkennen und erfüllen, erkennen wir auch unser wahres Selbst.
Für die Christinnen und Christen unter uns bedeutet dies weiterhin, die eigene Identität in dem zu erkennen, in dessen Abbild wir erschaffen wurden.

Es geht hier also weniger um "falsch" und "richtig" im umgangssprachlichen Sinn, sondern um das Erkennen, Wahrnehmen und Annehmen des eigenen Ichs.