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Homosexuals Anonymous
Offering Guidance, Fellowship & Care
Our goal is not heterosexuality. Our goal is holiness!
Homosexuals Anonymous - probably the oldest and longest-running organization in the world helping individuals with unwanted same-sex attraction (SSA) leave homosexuality! Founded in 1976, first meeting in 1977 (late in the year)!!
Or goal is not to turn "homos" into "heteros". We help people who - for whatever reason - do not want to act out on their same-sex attractions. We do this through pastoral care, Christian counseling, individual talks or group meetings. Who are we to tell them that their goals are not to be pursued?
Nevertheless it is striking that meanwhile professionals as well as gay activists are talking of a "fluidity" of human sexuality. This means in other words that nothing is set in stone here but open for - however defined - change.
In spite of this "conversion therapy" is fanatically being attacked. You can't have it both ways though. Either there is fluidity of human sexuality - implying openness for change - or not.
Human sexuality is influenced by many different internal and external factors. Even the activation or deactivation - or even the development (!) - of genes depends on envirnonment and behavior. Black and white statement may have a political background, there is one thing, however, they are not: scientific.
Robert Gollwitzer
Homosexuals Anonymous
Homosexuals Anonymous from Robert Gollwitzer on Vimeo.
“One of the most pathetic—and dangerous—signs of our times is the growing number of individuals and groups who believe that no one can possibly disagree with them for any honest reason.”
Thomas Sowell
Gen. William Booth (1829-1912), Salvation Army founder
“Every sin is a choice to turn a miraculous being into an object for consumption. It flattens the human person, one’s self and one’s victim, into a one-dimensional universe.”
― Michael D. O'Brien, Father Elijah: An Apocalypse
The only reason why people don't find freedom from same-sex attractions is because they don't believe it can be done!
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you."
- Pericles (Greek - Statesman 495 BC - 429 BC)
"The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness."
Pope emeritus Benedict XVI
What works best? You need a love greater than your desire for the same sex. A love that transcends everything. A love that goes beyond your wildest imagination and dreams. A love and a deep desire for God.
Robert
‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
(Matthew 11:28-29 NRSVACE)
Don't focus on the problem. Look at the goal !!
“In this world are many people who do not master their bodies. Such people say that no one can tell them what to do, not even God, and they think that in this way they have no master. In the end they become slaves to anything.”
― Michael D. O'Brien, The Island of the World
Don't just look around what resources you have. Find out about your potential!
“Our heart is restless until it rests in you.”
St. Augustine
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Let me get this straight: Sex is "fluid" when it comes to "gender" - but set in stone when it comes to "orientation". This is not science, this is propaganda.
“Sometimes the only way the good Lord can get into some hearts is to break them.”
― Fulton J. Sheen
Homosexuals Anonymous does not aim to alter the sexual orientation of minors.
However, if minors ask of Christian counseling and/or pastoral care and their parents are okay with that, we will gladly offer it to them.
We are a self-support organization and as such do not offer or recommend any kind of therapy for people with same-sex attractions. However, we support the right of every individual with same-sex attractions, their families, friends or anybody interested to have free access to all information regarding this topic. Only then can you come to a reasonable evaluation and decision as to how your viewpoint of this is.
Note: The work of Dr. Douglas McIntyre is being shown in part for documentation purposes only. That does NOT mean we embrace all of it or make publicity for its content in its entirety.
Points to ponder for "Ex-Gay Ministries":
The goal of whatever services or programs you offer can never be to become and remain sexually pure. Not to do something must never be a goal. Why? Because our brain cannot NOT process information. If you keep on telling someone not to have sex, not to look at porn etc., his or her brain will focus on sex and porn (example: If I tell you "Do not think of a rose elephant! Do not think of a rose elephant! Do not think of a rose elephant! - what are you thinking of? A rose elephant, even if you haven't thought of one for all of your life!) Sexual purity can at best be a means to a goal, but never a goal in and of itself. As a Christian, my goal is to be holy, to become more like Jesus. and follow Him. The non-Christians among us must define their own goal, which has to be specific, measurable, achievable, reasonable, time bound ("SMART") and positive.
You do not measure "success" in your programs by the number of participants who do not have sex, or who marry or whatever else in that direction. Just imagine measuring success for a Christian by not sinning anymore. The success rate would be zero.
Be family. When someone falls, help him or her up again, find out why it happened and help him or her to stand more stable from now on. Don't brag with statements like "I have never had sex for 20 years!". That might even be true, but I am sure you sinned in different ways. So nothing to boast of.
Stop making a living out of "being ex-gay" through preaching to the choir (traveling from church to church and talking to those who already share your opinion while charging a honorarium for it or writing books that you sell to exactly those believers). Jesus told us to go OUT. To pass His love and truth on to those who have never experienced it. Don't found a ministry and wait who will be coming. Those you want to reach will not be reached by that. They will most likely never even hear from it, and if they do the information will be filtered through other people who reject you.
For a while I was honored to serve as a volunteer in a local jail. The inmates there can smell a mile away what your true motivation is for visiting them. Are you really interested in them as persons and human beings - or do you simply want to raise your number of converts and knock the "visiting prisoners" part off your Christian to-do-list?
If you keep on giving testimony on how you "found freedom", if your whole life focuses only on "being an ex-gay" and if you are even financially dependent on that aspect of your life, chances are high you will never really find freedom as you keep on living in the past and stiring old things up.
Be open for gays and ex-gays. Your counselees alone decide upon the goal they want to reach. If someone decides to "stay gay" and needs your help in a certain issue, be there for him/her just the same. Our love needs to be unconditional.
When have we shown love to gay and lesbian people for the last time? Why not meeting with them, having a cup of coffee, becoming friends with some of them? Sometimes we only see the sin part in them. As if we are pure and do not sin. An example: A very dear friend of mine has been taking care of his severyl handicapped male partner for about 15 years now. They stopped having sex a long time ago as it is physically hardly possible anymore. He takes care of his partner 24/7 - he washes him, takes him to the bathroom, organizes his life, does the household and much more. The Christian knee-jerk reaction of some might be now to claim that as they do not have sex anymore all is fine. That is condescending, unloving and actually very un-Christian. This man shows love to his partner in a way that few people who claim themselves "Christian" do.
Stop talking about gays and lesbians as if they were only sick and pervert people that will go to hell anyway. Yes, the number of sexually transmitted diseases is much higher among them than among the rest of the peopulation. Yes, the average partnership lasts not as long as the average heterosexual one and is much less monogamous. Yes, sex is usually much more "creative" than that of heterosexual couples. But, that does in no way mean we should look down on them and think we know everything better. That we may stand on our podium and psychologically analyse them (while never having really met them and/or having no psychological training ourselves). Yes, there is a reason why people are doing what they are doing. If we want to be of any help we need to show genuine interest and love them like Christ would. Yes, at Christians we should point people to the Good News by our words and deeds but in the end it is God alone who decides who will go to heaven or hell. There are around 40.000 Christian denominations so far with totally different beliefs. We can't even agree on the basics. So none of us should ever claim to know everything and have it all together. Pride is the root of all evil - which applies to us as well.
As Christians, the basic rules to go by are to love God and others like ourselves. To go out and make disciples. All other rules and laws flow out of these. Yes, Christian love is more than a passing feeling. It is a covenant thing. A decision of the will. It implies humbleness, being unconditional, courage, self-sacrifice. It does not imply pride - on neither side.
December 2019
Robert Gollwitzer
Gays vs. Ex-Gays
Points to ponder for gays regarding their attitude towards ex-gays
Most gay people have never heard of ex-gays. Those who did usually have a very negative view of them. Ex-Gays are supposed to deny their sexuality (thereby becoming mentally ill), they are backwards oriented, old-school, radical, fundamental in their Christian faith, homophobic, haters and most of all adherents of "conversion therapies". So let's go into that.
Do ex-gays deny their sexuality? No, not at all. They use their sexual energy simply another way, like by letting their gifts and talents blossom, by becoming active and creative and by not letting their whole life turn around "being gay". You can just as well turn the argument around: People who think that you need to have sex in order not to deny your sexuality have a very disturbed view on and relationship towards it.
Are ex-gays becoming mentally ill because they "deny" their sexuality? This argument usually is brought up by people who do not have the slightest training in psychology and/or psychiatry. A mental disorder usually takes a whole bunch of different factors to develop. Hardly ever it is a single one. Mental disordders should also never be used to further a political position.
Again, you can just as well turn the argument around: Does not in many cases an excessive gay life play a major part in developping mental disorders and physical diseases (like through attracting and passing on of sexually transmitted diseases)?
Are ex-gays backwards oriented, old-school, radical, fundamental in their Christian faith, homophobic, and haters? All of that uses the same dirty propaganda technique (that sometimes reminds me of the Nazis by the way): You just have to repeat a lie often enough so people will believe it in the end. If you do not have good arguments, you put the "adversary" in a radical corner and make him look like a fanatic criminal with (again) mental problems. That makes you look pure and good and the other one dirty and evil. Hardly anybody though is purely good or purely bad just as well as hardly any motivation is by the way. Why not just sit down and listen - really listen! - to each other, without coming up with knee-jerk reactions at once? Why not grant the other side the right to have a rationally well-founded argument? Why not accept the fact that the other side could also be right or that they could at least have a valid alternative?
Could it be that sometimes we need the other side to look bad because we cannot accept the fact that they could have a point there? Because that would ruin our whole system of argumentation?
Ex-Gays can hardly be homophobic haters as they have same-sex attractions themselves. That "argument" actually reveals more about the person that uses it than about the one being attacked.
No ex-gay I know has ever supported conversion therapies. Gay-friendly politicians know that and still push anti-conversion-therapy legistlation just the same - in order to wipe off the surface of the earth all opposition against gay points of view. However, we want science and research to be independent. Even gay activists use the argument of "sexual fluidity" sometimes (they have to, else they could not make a point for being transgender). Given the fact that many factors contribute to the development of human sexuality and taken into account modern research on epigenetics we all have to adapt our positions on a regular basis, even if it hurts and does not fit our world view.
Why not see our common same-sex attractions as a common foundation and work together instead of against one another? Why can't gay counselors accept an ex-gay belief system and help the person leave a gay life if she or he wants that? Or the other way around?
I am just naive enough to believe that this can be done.
Munich, december 2019
Robert Gollwitzer
From our members and friends:
"HA has been the most transforming change agent in my born again life. My being, identity, self esteem was shattered into little pieces."
"I can honestly say HA deals with individuals struggling with sexual issues in a loving and caring manner. It uses the Bible, prayer, and group dynamics to provide individuals with hope and practical insights.
The emphasis is on reconciling one's self with his or her creator. In turn,one clarifies his or her true moral values for guiding his or her life.. The whole focus is on seeking holiness in one's day to day living.
HA invites individuals to participate in its meetings without coercion. If any changes are made by the individual, it is a result of his or her own choice. Everyone has the right to seek out like-minded individuals who wish to share their life stories and to share their religious beliefs.
I have seen individuals benefit from their participation in the group meetings, and the Bible studies. Needless to say, I have benefited greatly too!"
"Why do people think HA practices conversation therapy? Does AA or SAA (Sex Addiction Anonymous) practice conversion therapy? I think not. As a member of HA, I experience such ‘accusations’ or statements as oppressive, ignorant and unethical. I choose how I express my sexuality, integrate my beliefs, morality and preferences according to who I am. Nobody can or has a right to impose their beliefs onto me. I work out my own journey on a daily basis, only I can work it and walk it. It is a unique journey and I treasure the life it brings. HA is a non-judgemental, non-intrusive support for me in this process. There is certainly no hidden agenda to convert anyone to heterosexuality. However, I question the agenda of those who deny me this right to self determination. On the contrary, in HA there is space for each individual to uniquely emerge in an non-directive way, based on self-acceptance, love and mutual support. As a psychotherapist, I can say with great confidence that there is nothing unethical about the approach of HA and I would recommend it to anyone who desires to be free from the power of homosexual addiction and of unwanted same sex attraction. If during this process one discovers a more true-to-self sexual identity, so be it. Such has been my experience."
"Homosexuals Anonymous and Jason International are doing great work! In a day and age when there is more confusion than ever about sexuality, gender identity and the nature of the human person as lovingly created male or female by God, you are a beacon of clarity and light. You give hope to many by courageously proclaiming the message that embracing God's design and purpose for sexuality, no matter how difficult, is the best way to live a happy life."
We always get to hear about "conversion therapy". I have been with ex-gays for 16 years now and dealt with a great number of them in several countries around the globe. How come I have never met a single one who has undergone this kind of therapy or even knows one who did? This whole thing looks more and more like a myth to me.
Robert
Seelsorge für Minderjährige nur mit Einverständnis der Eltern und auch dann nur im Rahmen der gesetzlichen Möglichkeiten!
Christian counseling and pastoral care for minors only if their parents agree and only as far as the law allows it!
Our goal is NOT to turn gay people into straight ones. We assist people with same-sex attractions who decide by their free will that they do not wish to live a "gay" life. In that context we help them to develop an alternative life the nature of which is alone in the hands of our clients.
Even people who wish to live a "gay" life will find pastoral care and Christian counseling at Homosexuals Anonymous, if they wish to have it.
Before the age of 2, Helen Keller was stricken with a disease (the doctors don't agree as to what it was) that left her permanently blind and deaf. If you've not seen it, the movie The Miracle Worker, with Anne Bancroft and Patty Duke, is an excellent story of the beginning of her story. Today's attached devotional will reveal the secret of how she became one of the most celebrated women in the world! God bless you!
Because of Calvary,
John J.
“If I regarded my life from the point of view of the pessimist, I should be undone. Ishould seek in vain for the light that does not visit my eyes and the mastic that does notring in my ears. I should beg might and day and never be satisfied. I should sit apart inawful solitude, a prey to fear and despair. But since I consider it a duty to myself and toothers to be happy, I escape a misery worse than any physical deprivation.” [Helen Kellerin Don’t Forget to Sing in the Lifeboats and 366 Other Bits of Uncommon Wisdom forUncommon Times compiled by Kathryn & Ross Petras, (New York: WorkmanPublishing, 2009), p. 190]
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."
Arthur Schopenhauer 1788-1860
Therapy-related content does not mean we endorse those practices. It has only informational purpose.
"Freedom from homosexuality" does not mean that we aim to never again have same-sex attractions. Spiritually speaking, it means freedom from the power of sin. Beyond that it refers to the freedom to choose a life according to your values and principles and not letting an oriention order you what life you must live.
Wir machen keinerlei Therapien, wir empfehlen insbesondere keine Konversionstherapien und werben auch nicht für eine Teilnahme an einer derartigen Therapie noch vermitteln wir keine solche.
We offer no therapy whatsoever. Especially we do not recommend conversion therapies nor do we make any publicity for them.
Current managing director: Robert Gollwitzer (Germany)
Homosexuals Anonymous advisory board: André B. (Canada)
Copyright 2019 Robert Gollwitzer
